The Nuts and Bolts of Letting Go
Photo by Guillaume de Germain
In this last study session on Pema Chödrön’s No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva, Zuisei takes up the practices of offering (dedicating the merits of our practice) and letting go (acknowledge, surrender, and grieve).
This talk draws on the teachings of Shantideva and Pema Chödrön, the experience of ultramarathon runner Jenn Hughes, and more.
This talk was given by Zuisei Goddard. For a transcript, scroll down.
Transcript
This transcript is based on Zuisei's talk notes and may differ slightly from the final talk.
Conclusion of the study of No Time to Lose—Chapter 10, “Dedication.”
Dedicating the merit: We bring others into our buddha field. We remember that our buddha field extends everywhere. The goodness of our practice is not just for us. The effects of our practice are not just for us. The fruit of our practice is not just for us. We began with offerings, we end with offerings. “The Dharma is good in the beginning, is good in the middle, is good in the end.” But this goodness can be covered over, which is how religious teachings get co-opted and corrupted. We assure its goodness with our practice, with our effort. It’s important to begin well, to work well, to end well.
Letting go—one of you described grasping as a constricting, or limiting, of your awareness. Very true. When our attention gets tight, we get tight, we see only what we want to see, instead of the whole field, the whole buddha field. Opening is crucial, softening is crucial. You can’t just tell yourself, Let go. You can’t make yourself release. You can’t convince yourself, Well, feelings are empty, so what am I holding on to? Yes, feelings are empty of self-nature, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. They are like fog, insubstantial, and yet, fog can blind you. Fog can stop you as effectively as a cement wall. So, how do we let go, given that all of our life is relationship, is give and take, is feeling and making meaning of those feelings? Three steps:
1. Acknowledge: This is no longer serving me—this story, belief, attachment, commitment. It’s fessing up.
2. Surrender: Release of anything we’re holding on to. Soften, relax. Very important. It doesn’t mean it goes away necessarily, it’s that your hold on it loosens. Having it be present can be very helpful. Pain keeps us alert. Shame—but we don’t get tripped up by it in the same way.
3. Grieve: Sometimes you need to grieve what you’ve let go of, if not, just, Goodbye, if not, See you later, I have work to do.
Acknowledge, Surrender, Grieve equals Let go.
Yes? Yes!
We dedicate the merit and then we wish for all beings to wake up—bodhicitta. Two parts:
1. a sincere wish that it happens sooner rather than later
2. growing confidence that it can, and not only that it can, but that it will— confident faith, irreversible faith.
Without these, we get discouraged. I didn’t want it anyway. Let’s not kid ourselves, we don’t want to be at peace, to be happy, to be satisfied and safe and stable?
Pema Chodron says, “We think as big as possible.” We don’t make deals, we don’t cut corners, we don’t rush or force anything, we simply think and act as big as possible, knowing that we can do this, and that others can do this. That’s why a bodhisattva never gives up. Who knows if our merit couldn’t be the catalyst that helps someone to wake up? Never, ever underestimate the power of your practice, of your zazen, of your liturgy, of your mind. Never sell yourself short. We all get discouraged at some point or another, sure, but never ever give up. Why? Because your mind is bright, luminous, clear, and awake. Because, as Bodhisattva Never Disparaging says in the Lotus Sutra, “You too are a Buddha, and I would never dare disparage you.” That’s why we work to free ourselves of our bias, our prejudice, our arrogance, our selfishness. It’s not because that’s what a good Buddhist does, but because this is the truest expression of our human life: a life that’s unbounded and brimming over with love and care for ourselves and for others. A bodhisattva is irrepressible, their vow is irrepressible.
And now as long as space endures,
As long as there are beings to be found,
May I continue likewise to remain
To drive away the sorrows of the world.
Every time you think, I can’t, it’s too hard, it’s too much, remember that you are already a buddha, and remember that someone, somewhere, is dedicating the merit to your awakening. Someone, somewhere, is praying that you be safe, and kind, and joyful, and awake.
Let’s not let them down, shall we?
Explore further
01 : A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life by Shantideva
02 : How to Tame a Dragon by Jenn Hughes
03 : No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva by Pema Chödrön