The Power of Loving-kindness
Photo by Ales Krivec
OMS continues the study of Loving-kindness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana, taking up the question of how to use metta to meet difficult times.
Zuisei draws on the Karaniya Metta Sutta, a teaching on equanimity, the poetry of Amanda Cook, and more.
This talk was given by Zuisei Goddard. See below for transcript.
Transcript
This transcript is based on Zuisei's talk notes and may differ slightly from the final talk.
The Power of Loving-Kindness
This is called “On Hard Days” by Amanda Cooke.
On days when hopelessness reigns,
remember, you came here
to love and to liberate.
In a sea of indifference,
be an island of tiny kindnesses,
each an illumination of the truth
of our belonging to each other.
On hard days, find that part of you
that longs to love more.
Stay close to it, let it lead.
Light up, let yourself
be found, otherwise
how will we ever find our way
back to each other?
The Benefits of Loving-kindness
Good evening, everyone. I’ve been thinking a lot about practice and about the effects of practice. I’ve been thinking about its purpose and its reach. I’ve also been thinking about how to give, not hope but comfort. And more than comfort, direction, momentum. How to stoke up the embers of faith, of confident faith in the fact that we can not let the world change us, and in so doing, we can change ourselves and the world.
Everyone’s looking for what to trust right now. Well no, not everyone, but some of us are. What do we trust, what do we do, what do we rely on, how do we protect ourselves? The answer to this has to come from within. That too was what I was thinking.
I can encourage, I can remind, I can cheer on, but each one of us has to find what we believe and trust and use when things get difficult. The nice thing is that we have options. We have this profound buddhadharma that has come down to us through generations, through places and times that were not unlike this time. And people have used these teachings, this practice to be and stay awake, to help themselves, and to help one another.
Is Loving-kindness Enough?
So tonight we are returning to our study of Loving-kindness in Plain English, by Bhante Gunaratana. We started this study before ango, back in the summer, and now we’re picking up where we left off, in chapter 6 and 7. As I was reading, I found it interesting, and a little puzzling at first, that the Buddha felt the need to list the benefits of loving-kindness. That he seemed to feel it would be helpful to enumerate all the reasons why we would benefit from practicing loving-kindness—11 reasons, according to him. And looking at them, the first few seem somewhat basic. Practicing loving-kindness helps you to sleep better, relaxes your body, keeps your mind calm. Basic, but not obvious, when I thought about it a bit more.
Like so many of the Buddhist teachings, this teaching on metta, loving-kindness is deceptively simple. Wishing others well, you will feel well. What could be more obvious? But then why is it that we have such a hard time doing it? Why do so many of us have trouble sleeping, are not relaxed at all? Why do so many of us feel envy when someone else does well? Why do we have such a hard time trusting that loving-kindness might be enough to address the ills of our world?
So while at first I thought does the Buddha really have to spell out why it’s a good idea to practice loving-kindness? Pretty quickly I was able to answer myself, Yes, yes he does. We forget about the direct correlation between what we think and what we experience. And we often mistrust teachings that seem too simple, too soft.
I can imagine the Buddha’s disciples were asking him, “Is this really going to do anything?” Just like that reporter asked Reverend Muste as he protested the Vietnam war with his candle outside the White House: “Do you really think that this is going to change the world?” Maybe one of the kings he counseled said, “We’re at war. Are you telling me that wishing my enemy loving-kindness will take care of this conflict? Come on!” Maybe the Buddha’s own monks were wondering, “What good is all this talk on loving-kindness, when the world is upside down?” It seems foolish, naïve, maybe even out of touch.
But is it?
To the journalist, Reverend Muste replied, “I don’t do this to change the world; I do it so the world won’t change me.” Others shall be angry; we shall not be angry here.
I’ve been speaking with so many of you and feeling, with you, the fear, the worry, the anxiety that this time brings. As Bhanteji says, we don’t know if it’s true that practicing loving-kindness protects you from harm, but I think it’s an experiment worth carrying out.
The Karaniya Metta Sutta
The origin story of the Karaniya Metta Sutta says that once, after a teaching, 500 monks traveled to the foot of the Himalayas to do an intensive retreat—ango, essentially. They found a wonderful grove with a clear spring and a few villages nearby where they could go for their alms rounds. And so the monks decided to settle there, not knowing that in the trees of that grove there lived a group of devas or tree spirits, And these devas, who were all householders—not monastics—were mindful of the guideline to not sit above an ordained person, so they’d come down from their trees and were essentially homeless. At first they didn’t mind, because they thought the monks would only be there for a week or two. Except the villagers liked having the monks there and the monks appreciated the food and care the villagers gave them, and so one week turned into two, two turned into a month, and then another month, and the devas got desperate. So they decided to get rid of the monks by scaring them.
At night, when the monks are asleep, they started making howling and growling sounds and they conjured up ghosts and corpses who walked around giving off a terrible stench, and the monks were petrified. They ran off to go find the Buddha, and they said, “You have to find another place for us to practice. That last place was horrible!” And the Buddha, with his supernatural powers, saw the devas and their plan and he very calmly turned to the monks and said, “Sorry, but I’ve looked everywhere on earth and there’s no better place for you to practice than where you were. So go back there.”
Go to the Place that Scares You
Please don’t miss this. The Buddha is saying, “There’s no better place to be than in the place scares you. That’s where you need to practice.” Now, despite some of the stories in the sutras, I don’t believe he was speaking of putting ourselves in harm’s way or to not defend ourselves if it’s necessary. He’s not saying we should recklessly run toward danger. He’s saying, when fear arises, don’t turn away from it; otherwise, you’ll never be free.
The monks, trusting their teacher, go back, but not before he gives them the Karaniya Metta Sutta. He says to them, “Chant it every morning and every night. It will protect you.” And it does. The devas fall in love with the words, and feeling very touched by the wisdom contained in them, they offer the monks protection. To me, this story is about the gift of fearlessness.
The Buddha, understanding his monks’ fear, offers them what they need to practice fearlessness. He says, “Be fiercely kind and that will be your protection.” I think, ultimately, it has to do with a deep sense of peace. One who is at peace with themselves, is at peace with the world, even though the world may not be at peace.
Three Types of Equanimity
In the next chapter, Bhanteji speaks of the Four Immeasurables. I’ve spoken of the four immeasurables extensively and at various points, so here I just want to highlight the teaching on the three kinds of equanimity: “equanimity based on diversity,” “equanimity based on unity,” and “equanimity of renunciation.”
The first, equanimity based on diversity, means to develop the awareness that when we cling to something in the external world—something that we perceive with our senses: a food we love, the words of our child, a song that reminds us of a better time in our lives—when we hold on to one of these things, trying to get pleasure out of it or to make it last, if we pay close attention we might eventually see that this feeling we have is really in us, not in the thing.
If you’re a new parent, for example, and you’ve been hoping that your child’s first word will be Mommy, you recognize that wish in you and realize it’s in you, it’s in your mind; it has nothing to do with your child. In this case, to develop equanimity means to let go of a specific outcome, so if your child’s first word is instead “Choo-choo,” you’re not disappointed. It’s not personal; it’s not about you at all. A silly example, but you get my drift.
You see that the grasping is in you; it’s not that the object or the person is creating this desire in you, and slowly you’re able to release it. It’s like when someone says, “You disappointed me.” No one can disappoint you; only you can cause disappointment to arise in your own mind. Or “You made me angry,”—or sad, or jealous. No, let’s take responsibility where responsibility is due.
We could say that cultivating equanimity is knowing whose circus, whose monkeys these are. You know that saying: “Not my circus, not my monkeys”?Well, this is knowing this is your circus, your monkeys, and no one else’s.
Equanimity based on unity means to focus on a single object—the breath, let’s say—and letting all other objects go. Eventually, even the breath disappears as equanimity grows and there’s just the mind: clear, quiet, and stable.
Finally, there’s equanimity of renunciation, which is none other than the acceptance of awareness, This was, this isn’t now, and I’m okay with that. I don’t like it; I wish it was otherwise; but I accept it, because it is what it is, and I’d rather align myself with reality than fight with it.
Explore further
01 : All the Light with Vanessa Zuisei Goddard
02 : Metta by Acharya Buddharakhita
03 : Loving-kindness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana
04 : On Hard Days by Amanda Cook
The Power of Loving-kindness, a dharma study talk by Zen Buddhist teacher Zuisei Goddard on the practice of loving-kindness as an antidote to uncertainty and fear.